No fan, No plan, Yet I ran

Do I look like a man with the plan?

Man with a plan? Yeah, Man with no fan.

Alone forever, No hope for a clan,

Worthless as shit, I’d end it all if I can.

Feel like a convert in the land of Sudan,

Helpless without chances, Nothings gonna pan.

Living with hope, dunno how long I can,

Persist with no light, no face, no San.

Good at nothing, a tumor in the scan,

Don’t feel any special, I’m a black with a tan,

Without what I love, I’m diabetic flan,

Happy life - Fictional as army in Bhutan.

Wish I could run back to where it began,

Correct my steps and take all I can,

If only there’s surplus, when faced with a ban,

Or a Korean calling it the Sea of Japan.

At my lowest dip, mired with thoughts if I am any good.

Curse of Life

Just a few days have passed since my day of birth,
I should drink milk and cry all day, she said,
That's what I do anyway, For tears no dearth.
Curse of Life, Yet the motive remains unsaid.


Cursed with this curse of life, I wonder why I am still here.

Seventh Hell - the ubiquitous truth

Angels flutter’d a sly grin on their maiden rendezvous,

The herald pronounced their love, Envy clouds covered the blue sky,

Yonder stars witnessed their spark-bit sprees, those tender moments,

Understanding stood never better, even between petals of the same flower,

But, Showers of oaths did melt, Quoth she, “I love thee, but a friend.”

Love field deserted, Seem’d paradise sublim’d, he slept his fear…

Flesh supplemented earth’s bosom as tears quenched the thirst.

Blast from the past - The Seventh Hell (2004)

The Lone scream

Hoping for a life, I can make this,

Living with a hope, I can’t miss.

Flickering hope, I’m always pissed,

I get picked for being an optimist,

So what? I am a Prime, I’m Optimus,

Here to defend earth, I’m up for this,

Decepticon dirt, Meet my fists.

Deception I can take, doesn’t top my lists,

But treachery, betrayal, I cannot dismiss

Touch here I bet yall can blow a kiss,

To every dream of survival, Alls amiss,

Every scream of denial, not gonna fix,

Pushing you down this abyss,

I’ve been in all my life, Hercules

To be I strive, Am good at this.

A lone scream in terrifying silence... a pure attempt to play with words.

Shadow of death

It followed me everywhere,

That dark silhouette with an eerie gait.

Its very sight, drove a shiver,

For my collapse it lay in wait.

With my every smile it let

A frown, as if it wasn’t supposed,

Felt for eternity I was in its debt,

On every weakness of mine, it imposed.

Nothing could be more loyal,

Or persistent, shadow second to none,

Sometimes made me feel royal,

That attention I could not shun.

Whatever I was not, it was,

Everything I couldn’t do, it did,

Its path I wished never to pass,

Yet there it was, the one I couldn’t rid.

It wanted something all along,

Me to do that thing I would not,

Evil intentions I could feel strong,

Yet never understood its plot.

That compulsion, that control,

Blinded by its darkness I drove,

Every drop of my happiness it stole,

Hypnotized, in its world I rove.

All I asked for was a smile,

A shoulder to cry on, a fulfilled dream.

Yet lost it all in the last mile,

My tears cower to its deafening scream.

I resisted this precise plan

Couple of times I turned around

I survived but no longer can,

In its clasps, my time bound.

Walk with me and I let be

The things you love, you live for,

But never to return, prepared you shalt be,

Never will you get what you longed for.

Cloaked in its shadows I walk,

Reminiscing every pleasantry, every face,

Vision clouded, Absorbed in its stalk,

A final glance, a smile to chalk my trace.

Clinging to the last strand of hope, may be I can shake this shadow away?

AbsTRACt connecTION - Ode to Schumacher

Many times the boy who cried wolf,

As Death came close and walked past,

His biggest enemy was himself,

On crimson tides, he rode fast.

Always lived life in a fast lane,

In short time, his limitless doing,

His attitude both his boon and bane,

Now on a cliff, clinging onto life, dying.

An Abstract Connection of "The boy who cried wolf", "Life in a fast lane", and "Dying". 

Ode to my hero Michael Schumacher. #KeepFightingMichael

The Pine

Sailing alone in this tranquil sea,
An aide I seek, to my melting periphery,
Last night's supper stale, at the stroke of nine,
Will the dews collect together to quench my pine?

Will I ever know that sweet ‘Hello’,
One meant for only me, preserved for a longer flow?
Will I get to see that lovely smile,
That captivates my pith, treasured long awhile?

Will I ever get to feel the magical touch,
That sparks a cold sensation, inside my cardiac hutch?
A touch filled run, still sans contact, by her finger,
That inexplicable pleasantness, that will forever linger.

Where…where is love?

Will I ever be soaked with the elixir,

Flowing out of her feels, soothing my painful stir?
Will I get to enjoy her protracted company,
Eroding my solitude, planting my avid harmony?

Will I get to see her, the ethereal maiden,
With ‘Love’ all over her face written?
Her finesse and grace, retained for me to see,
Her virgin beauty, echoing my reformation spree.

Where…where is she?

In all my troubles and happiness alike,

She, who can suffuse into me, her like,
Every step of mine ahead, right or wrong,
She, who will sing my play along.
For the lone tear I ever shed,
She, who will send the pair ahead,
For every question that hath me dried,
She, who can kiss her support inside.
A faded wait, still, of her no sign,
Will the dark ever bring light to my pine?

 A blast from the past... from "The Pine" - 2006.

Stormy tides

I knew I was special, Thought I was god’s angel,

Put to test now and then, He knew I’d always fare well

Oh well, I was wrong, Realized I’m his stress ball,

My balls he’d squeeze when things don’t go well.

Oh hell, Dunno how long I can take this, I’ll repel

Fight, Swell, Explode, before I bid farewell

Forever, Hate being boxed up in this shell

I wanted to be special but not a spayed skull.

None of you know what I’ve been through,

That hug and kiss meant for me, I never knew.

Been the ugly duckling all my life, I grew

With no one beside me and no one to guide through.

Never once feeling special or loved, I withdrew

From life, Went to dark corners you never knew

Even existed and I fought through

Every pain, trauma, and came out bullet-proof.
 

Never understood why I cannot be loved back

The way I love someone, Seem to have a knack

For finding the wrong end, All odds are stacked

Against me, No love, I lie on a bed of tacks,

Bruised back, I wonder what it is that I lack,

Is my passion beyond what anyone can give back?

Oh fack, Got nothing to lose, its time for payback,

I’ma attack, Take back what I deserve from your love sac.

What I think of society? I think its bull crap,

Social animal, yeah, but still a man-made trap,

To bind the free, In others view you’re wrapped

Every step, every action, followed closely, Oh snap.

Dont care what you say or think, I’ma flap,

My wings and fly out, Stop me? good luck with that.

No one can judge me, pop you out like bubble wrap,

Suck in, and ingest you, I’m Venus fly trap?
 

All my life I felt very deprived, In cold zones,

I thrived, Turning every blizzard into a stepping stone,

Many a times, I felt I couldn’t hold my own,

I collapsed, Under the weight of the world,

Tears froze, I cried a river, Emotions overblown.

When many are around, I still feel alone,

For my true love’s first kiss, I still yearn,

Hopes alive I’d pull off a fairy tale on my own,

I survive today on thin ice as a sole clone,

For the day I’d unite with my soul clone,

I will fight for it, cuz that’s my right, I will burn

Bright when all of earth’s glory is dethroned.

From a recent composition titled 'Stormy Tides'. Guess I'm back huh?